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I’d barely started the descent yet. “Fast-forward to winter, then ... My life basically went to hell at that point. Julie sent me that letter admitting to cheating with Brian. The Brian here in Montauk, of course, not my sort-of friend who mistreated Carmen.”“I’m going to go ahead and guess that none of your kids are going to be named Brian,” she remarked.I actually chuckled slightly, despite the heavy mood. “No, probably not ... I hope you don’t like that name.”Heather’s eyes widened and I covered my face as I slowly realized what I’d just said.What the hell was that?“I—I’m sorry,” I stammered, waving my hand vaguely. “I don’t know what...”She pulled me close, smiling at me openly. “I love you so much, Matt...”“I’m sorry.”“Don’t be. Go on.”Again, I searched my mind, trying to find and piece together the old visions that kept prying at my attention. “Well, you know the next part, how I found out about Lara and Julie being together and all that, right?”“Yeah, I remember you telling me. So, I guess unconsciously I was making excuses to myself for being with a man often. My young son’s perception of this is what threw me into a defensive mode. What that did was that we met outside and Chuck would visit at home, say about once a week. We went on long drives in his car and sometimes he would even drive miles out of town just on the highway going nowhere! This happened especially when Ashok was visiting our son. There was still lots of legal stuff to be discussed and there were many domestic and financial issues to decide on and I naturally found him a great help, a companion and someone who would share my burden. About two months had passed since Ashok and I were separated and Chuck and I had become very close friends. He would ask me about my childhood and my youth and how I met my husband and my married life. He would share his story with me and it was quite obvious by now to those around that we had something going. Except me. I still told myself that I was.
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